So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
