he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
