Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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