So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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