Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
