Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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