All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize