# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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