he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
