Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
