sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize