good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
