garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
