I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
