Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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