Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize