he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
