office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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