i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
