you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize