There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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