u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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