I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
