I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it because I queefed?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
