Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
