When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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