After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
