i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
