Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
