she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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