so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
