I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
