Little spoons don't ask big questions
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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