i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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