porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
