He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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