May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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