is your mom at the bar?
Can Purell be used as lube?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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