her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize