Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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