Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
