Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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