How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
