Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My bed is full of blood and feathers
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
