I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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