just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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