I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
