sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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