You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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