people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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