how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is Oprah even human
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize