...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
