Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize