Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
