Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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