Who wears a wallet chain?!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
