Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
