I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
