hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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