I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
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