I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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