I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
