I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
