Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize