Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
