spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
